Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Renewal and Random Rambling

Color with a threat of storm






KNITTING -- A SAFER SUBJECT


Knitting is consistently a dependable expectation. I am confident in my discipline to accomplish knitting each day, just as I know I will be disciplined enough to breathe, and eat.

I have several projects on the needles but only two active. I am about half way through a cabled vest, Gamine Vest by Tori Gurbisz. I am using Blue Moon Fiberarts in Winter Solstice Colorway. Its a satisfying interesting knit using WOOBU sport weight yarn. This has to be among my fav yarns to work. The other is a pair of bright red socks in Madeline Tosh sock, Byzantine colorway.

 There is a new great grand child due soon and all the unfinished projects (aka UFOs) are beckoning for me to finish them before the imminent baby shower and birth. Its best to also remember that its not too early to begin Christmas Knitting. Lots of projects, many in progress.


My stash seems to be getting bigger not smaller in spite of my daily busy fingers.  Its a mystery.


My SELF Project

I once arrogantly assumed that by my current age, 61, I would have it figured out--- IT -- how to live life as one wants to; to know what  to Do with my life, to know what I want and how to walk through life consistent with my goals, and consistent with my intent.

Sigh.

'Fraid my efforts are largely punctuated with somewhat extended periods when I seem determined to behave and live opposite of how I intend.

I'm doing better right now,in these past few months. I am practicing moderation even in my efforts to be consistently sane. I am therefore, feeling better,smiling more, noticing the neighborhood, and feeling grateful for each day, hour and minute I draw a healthy breath.

I am walking.


Hope Renewed with new spots of color

wake up most mornings with a hope and steeled intent.  An intent that remembers past successes and knows what is possible. Somewhere between that commitment and my first cup of coffee, my actions bely all the decisions, promise, and palns for a good, serene and wise day

 But then... maybe today



Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Wearing My Grown-up Pants





With a sigh this morning, I decided it was a day for the grown-up pants.


Maybe I should explain what I mean by that. First a little context.

Sometimes I feel daunted by the many choices I am faced with each day. What disturbs my serenity the most is that to the extent I grapple with emergent questions and their associated, options disguised as solutions; I am less able to be mature in the selection of appropriate solutions for the daily and mundane. I increasingly deteriorate until I am justifying myself as a child would, thinking “But I wanna!” Its, after all, those pesky little daily decision which will or could be the most important ones effecting quality of life in my dottering years. Right? I mean after all buttery buttermilk biscuits with marmalade may sound yummy and comforting right now, but if I pursue that each day…. I do need to be able to get out of the chair. Right? I enjoy hiking and breathing deeply and chasing the dog around the dog park and well you get the idea.


I don’t want to inject too much drama into what is really the everyday stuff of any person’s life. After all, deciding on melted cheese with a sticky bun or a candy bar instead of a bowl of homemade vegetable soup for a midday meal isn’t a big deal. One shouldn’t put too much importance in such things. Deciding to put my lace up shoes on with my grown-up pants on a Saturday instead of lounging around with my social media friends and fuzzy slippers is just such a mundane decision. But I find as my workweek life with its bigger topics predominates, I increasingly take the easy, comfortable slouchy way of sitting through the day. As I dwell on the rational grown-up dilemmas and serious stuff, I am more apt to gratify myself at the expense of nutrient rich decisions.



Tomorrow I can grow up, today I want to feel comfortable.



When things got tough for me as a little girl, my grandma would caution me to wear my grown-up pants. This was an expression reminding me that a reasoned, adult approach would be necessary to face whatever was destined for me that day. She was so right. She was… wasn’t she?