Overdo or Do Not at All? Are those my only choices?

Some have called it a fatal flaw, and others commend stamina and focus. Whether its a vice or a virtue is dependent on my current obsession. I can only evaluate the respective merit of my obsessions by their outcomes. For example, completing marathons was "good"---I became physically healthy. Drinking every night for 10 years was an addiction,---it caused me and loved ones pain. I do neither of those things now.

Although I value moderation and balance I seldom practice it. Or, conversely I practice it to such an extent I can behave obsessively balanced. Something like the "Fiddler on the Roof" constantly saying "on the other hand" I try to see the other perspective. Done in excess, keeping one's mind open like that limits one's ability to make a decision. That particular trait, when I venture into it, tends to fade in favor of a firmly held opinion. I am known to be a tad opinionated. Sorry to all I have offended. But I digress from my point.

The past few years I have been knitting, knitting with the same passion I once walked marathons and hiked mountains. Or the same passion I once volunteered for... well, way too many things. Unfortunately, current obsessions, like knitting, have meant that I have turned rather slug-like....slow, unhealthy and overweight. Knitting isn't the reason for this turn of events, its the doing of it instead of doing all those things that once enriched my life.

Now I want to strike out in a new direction. I don't know what direction I will next select and I lack a compass. Though I don't know where to point my foot, I am certain about what I want from the new track. I want deep breaths, laughter, and love, and fresh air, and color, and smooth movement. I want to feel good about the choices I make and the relationships with those I love. I want to know that each action and each decision I make is in the direction of making it better for others. I want and I choose.. a full healthy life.

Bit by bit, little by little, in the years left to me, I will try to build that life. First step. Cleanse my self of all that is not helping me to live well.

Perhaps its time to find balance.

I am still going to knit.